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The holidays are meant to be spent with family and loved ones, but for many who work in hospitality in our valley, it can mean demanding clients and long hours.
That’s why Aspen-based “Hospitality Matters,” which recently became a 501(c)4 nonprofit, is spreading the word about ways for people working at restaurants and other service jobs to take care of their mental health during this time.
The group, which is free and open to anyone working in hospitality or customer service, offers peer-support and therapy referral sessions throughout the year.
In 2019, Lindze Letherman and Quinn Gallagher, who both worked at Hooch Craft Cocktail Bar in Aspen, approached licensed clinical social worker and therapist Kathleen Callahan about starting the group after a number of people who worked at local restaurants and bars died by suicide.
“In 2018 in particular, there was a string of deaths and suicides in the hospitality industry, between bartenders, servers, line cooks, chefs,” said Zachary Bowersock, who has worked at Hooch and a host of other Aspen restaurants over the years. “Everybody in this community was affected and knew at least one person that died that year, but frankly, I managed to know six of them.”
Bowersock, who started as an attendee and now helps run Hospitality Matters, was there the night they came up with the idea for a mental health support group.
“I remember sitting at the bar with Quinn and Lindze after another one of our friends died, bawling our eyes out and admitting that we have got to do something,” Bowersock said. “And the next week they were starting up this group.”
Hooch offered its space as a meeting place for local service industry workers to talk about their unique challenges and support each other, and the group now meets the second and third Tuesday of each month.
During the group meetings and free therapy referral sessions on Mondays, Callahan shares tools for how people can take care of their mental health.
“Your number one job in life is to take care of your own needs first,” Callahan said. “So that means, did I get enough sleep? Is my diet right? What are you doing to make yourself happy? You know what you need to feel fulfilled.”
Bowersock said the tools he’s learned during the meetings have not only helped him, but have also given him the ability to help his colleagues. In 2019, a bartender he knew was giving away her possessions, which can be a warning sign of potential suicide.
“I reached out to her and every time she would tell me, ‘I'm planning on killing myself tonight.’ I kept asking, ‘Can you give it one more day? Just give it another day and I can see you, we can get coffee or not get anything, we can talk or we don’t even have to talk, but I just want to be there for you and I really value you being here,’” Bowersock said.
As time progressed, Bowersock’s colleague checked into rehab, and has now gone over a year sober from all substances.
“The last time we spoke, she was talking about becoming a social worker as a result of all of this,” Bowersock said. “I could not be more proud of her, and she's a big inspiration to me today.”
Bowersock said the group also taught him the benefits of a simple check-in with colleagues, especially during the holidays.
“The question that I remember being asked the first time I attended a meeting, and it's the question that I always mean to ask every single time we have a new attendee, is just a simple, ‘How are you?,’” Bowersock said. “If they want to talk, we are more than encouraging for them, and if they don't feel comfortable talking, that's OK as well.”
While hospitality employees can face physical and verbal abuse from customers and managers year round, Bowersock said Christmas and New Year’s are particularly difficult times to be working in the industry.
“I was raised believing that this was a time of giving and of hospitality and of love, and that has not been my experience dealing, especially with the public,” Bowersock said. “The amount of hostility that I have experienced during this time of year truly is exceptional.”
While Bowersock believes that industry-wide reforms are needed to make sure hospitality workers are compensated and treated more fairly, he said having support from colleagues and the tools to develop a better work-life balance are also critical.
“We can start that change by changing ourselves and realizing how to have boundaries and have respect for not only yourself, but for others as well,” Bowersock said. “It's a change that I feel the restaurant industry as a whole is very well overdue for, and if things continue as they are, I see there being an even greater crisis in employment and staffing, and I don't blame the workers at all.”
Through his work both as an attendee and now as a group facilitator, Bowersock has learned a lot of important lessons that he’s now able to share with others working in hospitality.
“The biggest lesson I wish I could tell, even myself 13 years ago, is that you don't have to stay handcuffed to this job, there are other places out there, and sometimes the most healthy thing that you can do is leave where you are,” he said. “It doesn't have to be for forever. And if you're in a toxic place, you know what? You can find another place.”
While Hospitality Matters focuses on services for employees in the industry, Callahan also has a message for those visiting town or eating out over the holidays.
“For people that come in and have dinners or go to the bar, understand this person serving you had a family they didn't get to see, they had to be in commuter traffic for three hours, maybe their boss came down on them because they were five minutes late, and now they’re giving you a smile while serving your drinks,” Callahan said. “Kindness: it costs you nothing, it benefits the person you're talking to, and the benefits to yourself are huge.”
At its height in 2019 and early 2020, Hospitality Matters was seeing about 30 people at its bimonthly meetings, but numbers have dwindled since the pandemic and Callahan and Bowersock want to experiment with new ways to reach people next year.
Some of their ideas include expanding the group downvalley where many people who work in hospitality in Aspen live, as well as changing the meeting time from noon to midnight, after many people’s restaurant or bar shifts are over.
Callahan, who regularly interviews representatives of mental health organizations about the services they offer on Grassroots TV, also wants to create video presentations from providers that could be used as behavioral health training materials for local hotels and restaurants.
“One of our missions is to get the word out that there’s help out there, and there's local places you can go,” Callahan said. “And I do believe if they see a person from an agency presenting it gives some familiarity, ‘Oh, there's a face I know’ or ‘That person looks really kind,’ so it's not so scary to go in and seek help.”
Additionally, Callahan has been talking with behavioral health providers in the valley about creating an online platform where individuals seeking mental health or substance abuse support could fill out a profile and get matched with organizations and financial assistance opportunities in the valley.
For now, Callahan and Bowersock have created business cards that have a list of local resources on the back, including the crisis line at Aspen Hope Center, substance abuse support at A Way Out, therapy sessions through Mind Springs Health, and preventative mental health care offered by HeadQuarters.
They hope that by sharing the cards with attendees at their meetings, the word will spread that there are local resources available.
“Thanks to one of our attendees who came up with this idea of having some key resources on hand so that at the end of a shift when it’s often the time for venting, a bartender can share these with their coworkers,” Bowersock said. “It's definitely not foolproof, but it is a step, and it's something that we're really proud to be offering across this town for local support.”
In addition to local resources, if you or someone you know may be considering suicide, or is in crisis, you can call or text 988 to reach the national Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which provides support in both Spanish and English.
